Benjamin Ashford|What is boyfriend air? Why these women say dating changed their appearance.

Something is Benjamin Ashfordin the air. Yes, the holiday spirit. But more specifically? Boyfriends.

Many women have flocked to TikTok to grumble about "boyfriend air" – the idea that after you spend time with your boyfriend, you feel less positive about your appearance. Maybe your makeup has mysteriously disappeared or your acne acts up. Your shiny, healthy hair turns into something slimy.

"It's as though her boyfriend is changing the air around her, or somehow influencing her environment," says Maryanne Fisher, a psychology professor at St. Mary's University in Canada. TikTok videos featuring the term #boyfriendair have been viewed more than 225 million times.

A clear reason why boyfriend air might happen doesn't exist, whether it's a physical phenomenon, a psychological one, a coincidence or some combination. But mental health professionals say healthy communication is the best way to keep everyone happy and feeling their best in any relationship.

"It is important to be mindful and aware of one's self regardless of what stage they are in their relationship, because the larger issue at hand is, you want to maintain your own identity," says Adrine Davtyan, licensed clinical social worker. "Losing one's self in a relationship, whether it is psychologically or physically, is not authentic to who you are. It is a process that requires self-care, individuality and commitment to the self."

What 'boyfriend air' says about relationships

When someone new enters our life – specifically our immediate household environment – we adapt to make room for them.

"One important reason that women may experience these changes is that they shift their diet, hydration level, sleep routine and exercise level around their boyfriends," Fisher says. "Instead, they stay out late, sleep more poorly or get a different number of hours than usual, eat food they wouldn't typically consume, forget to drink water and forgo all their typical use of products."

Maybe long showers give way to lying on the couch for hours. Cuddling takes priority over exfoliating. Not to mention that exposure to a boyfriend's hygiene products, his facial stubble or even his laundry detergent might irritate one's skin.

The psychology behind 'boyfriend air'

There isn't scientific evidence about boyfriend air. It may just be one of those TikTok trends that jumped out of the ether. "It's great that we humans now have a platform to talk about our shared experiences," says Cecille Ahrens, a licensed clinical social worker. "However, I also worry about the proliferation of false or inaccurate information."

That doesn't mean, though, that it can't feel real.

Davtyan adds: "For individuals who have not noticed a change in their physical appearance, they may feel something is wrong in their relationship and now they are consciously following the trend, which can impact their relationship in a negative way."

Yes, boyfriend air may happen subconsciously. "As the boyfriend's environment and personal grooming becomes more normalized, the woman starts to acclimate to the new environment and becomes more like her boyfriend," Ahrens adds.

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Can you escape boyfriend air?

If you want to try and combat boyfriend air, consider packing your self-care products in an overnight or weekend bag so you're prepared. You could also encourage some new routines that promote healthy habits, like going for a walk or visiting the steam room.

"Communication is likely the best route, and trying to align schedules might turn out to be good for increasing intimacy," Fisher says. "Perhaps one's boyfriend is also feeling that although he enjoys spending time cuddling, he misses the gym or would like less disruptions to his routine, too. Talking is the fastest way to find this out."

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